In any relationship, communication is key. But there are some things that you should never say to your partner if you want to maintain a happy and healthy relationship. In this article, I will guide you about what NOT to say in a relationship, and why it’s important to avoid saying these things. By understanding what not to say (and why), you can strengthen your own relationships and avoid potential conflict.
There are some things that you should never say to your partner if you want to maintain a happy and healthy relationship. For example, “You’re lucky I’m even talking to you,” or “I can’t believe you did that. “ These kinds of phrases will only serve to create conflict and tension in your relationship. Instead, try communicating with kindness and respect, even when it’s difficult. It’ll make a world of difference in your relationship dynamic.
Some things are better left unsaid, and can only do harm if said. If you find yourself in a situation where tempers are flared, and words start flying, it’s important to take a step back and think about what you’re about to say.
In my last relationship, I can remember one particular argument we had where everything came to head and we said some really hurtful things to each other. At the moment it felt satisfying to let all my anger out, but afterwards, I realized that those words were permanent and couldn’t be taken back.
You should never threaten to leave your partner.
Why? Because you aren’t communicating to resolve the underlying issues, you are simply trying to get your partner to change their behaviour. The only thing threatening separation or leaving your partner will accomplish is to make them withdrawn and quiet and to avoid conflict. It will not resolve the problem, and in fact, it will likely cause you to get even less attention.
In the end, your partner will see you as weak and will be more likely to act out. Instead of trying to force your partner to change, make it clear that he/she can either work on the problem with you and with your help, or deal with the consequences of his/her behaviour on their own.
Don’t compare your partner by saying: You are unromantic look at them.
How do you compare? According to your age maybe? Are you comparing yourself with them? Don’t. Don’t be “Unromantic”. Be yourself. Be Romantic. A real Romantic. Not a fake.
Don’t compete with others. It only makes you angry, depressed and frustrated. Comparing yourself to others will never help you. The moment you are doing that, you have lost the battle. It is like telling them: I am not good enough for me.
Don’t pretend you are something that you are not.
Those who compare their failures with others’ successes will have many failures.
Never act with a Superiority Complex with your partner.
It’s an easy recipe for disaster. When you feel this emotion, it’s often dangerous. But it can also be funny, as long as it is kept light-hearted.
Never treat your partner with disrespect because of their inability to dominate you. This type of behaviour is toxic, not only because it will bring you an ultimate failure, but because it can really hurt the partner you are trying to dominate. Don’t be a control freak. It is such a turnoff and will lead to nothing good. We have to take the same care and effort in understanding our partners as we do for ourselves.
Listen and listen some more.
We all have heard a million times that the art of communication is communicating without actually speaking. It is in listening to what your partner has to say without any prejudiced opinions or any bias that we need to start listening.
A relationship needs sharing and listening to each other.
While you may be great, your partner needs to know that you are aware they are great, too. While you need to show some competitive spirit, it is not a game of one-upmanship. It’s unique, and that’s what makes it interesting for you and for them. While you may be great, your partner needs to know that you are aware they are great, too.
Never try to show that you are a perfect partner, as it is almost impossible to be one. It is advised not to make promises which you cannot keep, or which can’t be fulfilled. It is not appreciated in any relationship.
Don’t be a ‘know-it-all’ person. Don’t think you are always right.
Avoid complaining about your partner to others. It will only create negativity and make you look mean-spirited. Don’t Treat your partner as a doormat. You do not always come first; your partner has needs too.
Never give up on your partner.
Things you should never say to your partner: A guide to the loving relationship was originally published in Hello, Love on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
